15 Super Intimate Acts That Have Nothing To Do With Sex

The words “intimacy” and “sex” are often used interchangeably. And while sex can be one type of intimacy, there are many non-sexual acts that can be quite intimate, too. 

“There are a number of things that can lead to greater intimacy in relationships, none of which are complicated or earth-moving. But they can have profound impacts on the closeness and connection in the relationship,”clinical sexologist and sexuality educator Lawrence Siegel told HuffPost. 

We recently asked people which acts they believe have the power to deepen a couple’s bond. Here’s what they told us: 

1. Quietly doing something you know your partner will appreciate with no prompting whatsoever. 

“And no attempt to ‘get credit.’ For example, cleaning out the fridge and then not saying anything. Putting on their favourite song or album without them asking. Bringing them a cup of coffee in the morning, just the way they like it. It shows how well you know them, and it’s an action that can speak louder than words.” — Adrienne Hedger, artist at Hedger Humor

2. Giving each other your undivided attention.

“In a world full of distractions, giving your partner your full attention is a profound act of intimacy. Whether it’s having a deep conversation or simply hearing about their day, this act shows that you value and respect them. It creates a space where your partner feels heard and understood, strengthening your emotional connection and trust.” —Brianne Billups Hughes, marriage and family therapist 

3. Locking arms.

“The first time my wife ever made skin-to-skin contact, we were in a haunted house, and she latched her elbow into mine and hugged in tight. There’s still something to that — a feeling of honour — that she trusts me to be there for her. That we are each other’s safety.” — Jay Deitcher, journalist

4. Making prolonged eye contact.

“When two people look deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for an extended period of time, they can deepen trust and intimacy. One study showed that when subjects stared into each other’s eyes for two minutes, their levels of attraction and passion increased.

To do this, set a timer for two minutes. If it feels too uncomfortable to do in silence, you can even choose a short song to play. Sit face-to-face with your partner, and look into each other’s eyes. You might notice emotions come up, you may start to tear, and you may even laugh as a way of deflecting the uncomfortable emotions. This is all normal. Just keep holding your gaze.” — Amy Chan, relationship expert and founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp

5. Reading each other’s minds. 

“We don’t plan this one, but it’s beautiful to see when either of us are thinking about something and the other says it out loud. I’m not sure when it started, but it has been the case on a weekly basis, and it’s a great feeling right down to feeling when the other is hungry.” — Jan-Kristòf Louis-Mansano, teacher and counsellor 

6. Sending a daily text to check in. 

“My husband and I have been together for 10 years, and he still texts me every morning while at work that he loves me and hopes I have a good day. Even in the middle of the day or the start of his busy day, he’s still thinking of me and sharing his love, and I instantly feel connected to him.” — Nicole L.

7. Picking up on each other’s jokes when no one else does.

“This happens when you’re in a big, boisterous group and everyone is talking. You say something you think is funny, and no one in the group notices or pays attention to it — but then you look over and see your partner, laughing at your joke and nodding appreciatively at you. 

When this happens, it can transport you back to the time when you first met your partner and you were both hyper-aware of each other. It’s nice to feel like, even after you’ve been together a while, that person is still focused on YOU in a group. It also sends the message of: ‘I got you. Maybe no one else is paying attention to you right now, but I always have your back.’”  — Hedger

8. Writing a song for your partner.

“My lover recently wrote a song specifically about me. He made a voice recording of himself singing it, accompanied by his guitar and texted it to me. He sang about how my ‘bare skin is electric’ and he ‘paints a picture as pretty as my tattoo.’ I love it and feel seen and deeply connected to him. Although he did not physically touch me, I could feel his touch. I felt it in the attunement he has with himself through his craft as a musician. And he attuned to me through our connection to music and the very specific lyrics that only apply to me.” — Dori Melton, sex and relationship coach 

9. Sitting in comfortable silence.

“Sometimes, the most profound moments come from simply being in each other’s presence without saying a word. Sitting in silence, whether it’s enjoying a sunset or just relaxing on the couch, allows for a deep, unspoken connection. It shows comfort and trust, where you don’t need to fill the space with words to feel close. This kind of silence speaks volumes about the bond you share, making it a powerful form of intimacy!” — Billups Hughes

10. Taking a bubble bath together.

“Put in some bath salts, bubbles, light candles and play some relaxing music. Don’t have your phones nearby. Taking a bath together is a really intimate act, and it has the double benefit of self-care, while being present and bonding with your partner. The physical closeness and touching can increase oxytocin which helps strengthen emotional bonds.” — Chan

11. Creating a pre-meal ritual. 

“Whenever we eat, we usually toast with our utensils or whatever we are eating with. So with a fork, we’ll hit each other’s forks then eat. If it’s a sandwich, we’ll tap each other’s sandwich with the sandwich itself. We also make sure to make eye contact with one another as we work on valuing acknowledging each other face to face.” — Louis-Mansano

12. Being their human pillow.

“We can be on the couch or at temple, but I still get tingly in my belly when my wife rests her head on my lap or shoulder. I’m lucky to be her pillow.” — Deitcher

13. Doing something goofy in front of each other. 

“Any sort of silly dance move performed purposely right in front of you to make you laugh. I think two things are happening here. One, someone is totally letting their guard down in front of you, which is a vulnerable thing to do, so it demonstrates a solid level of trust. And, two, that person is also trying to delight you, which is a sweet gesture.” — Hedger

14. Making small, thoughtful gestures on the regular.

“Give your partner frequent affirmations or acknowledgement. Small, thoughtful gestures like surprising your partner with their favourite treat, planning a special date, expressing gratitude, or giving a heartfelt gift can make them feel cherished and appreciated. Regularly expressing appreciation, love, and admiration through kind words or gestures can boost your partner’s confidence and reinforce the bond between you.” — Siegel

15. Poking fun at each other in a good-natured way. 

“When my husband jokingly mocks me, it shows me that he really gets me, my quirks and even my humour. It’s probably our silly love language, but laughing together makes me feel even more connected to him.” — Nicole L